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Every Ending is a New Beginning

October 15th,2013

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Most of you have probably heard the phrase that I chose for today's title: "Every Ending is a New Beginning" and it may sound cliche, but it is worth reflecting a little bit about the depth of its meaning.

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Sometimes in life we may feel the ground underneath us is shaking, we may feel we are loosing all of our bearings, or we may feel that our safety is being threatened; These can all happen at the same time during an earthquake (pretty awful feeling by the way, I've been there!), but we can also experience one or all of the above when we are faced with a very difficult life event, such as a divorce, a job loss, a serious health condition, the death of a loved one, etc. And more often than not, people resist these events because they resist change. Change is scary, especially a life-altering change that is totally unwelcome and unplanned.

But change is inevitable, it is the very nature of our human life, everything around us changes constantly and so do we, so even if we live under the illusion that we control the variables of our lives, the truth is: we don't. Change is always present, and the more we resist it the more we suffer.

There is no denying that the deep pain and enormous suffering that can accompany a challenging life event can drown us like an ocean storm would sink a tiny boat. And although it is important to allow our bodies to cry and mourn and go through the whole range of emotions (denial, anger, pain, guilt, fear, etc.) it is just as important to hold a vision of hope, trust and opportunity.

If we are willing to see a life-altering event as an opportunity for growth, for understanding and for starting anew, we will be able to navigate through the ocean storm and stay afloat until we make it to the other side. We are all capable of turning a breakdown into a breakthrough, and by doing so, we will move from a place of fear and overwhelm to a place of self-awareness and empowerment.

One of my wise friends who went through a very difficult divorce years ago told me that the secret for her staying strong was to live "one day at a time" (in other words: to be fully present), and the belief that in the end she would be better off (holding the vision of a positive outcome).

We can hold a vision of hope that can carry us through the pain, and if that vision is always present, we will only grow stronger after the whole ordeal is over. But in order to hold that vision at all times, we need to be perseverant, patient, resilient and forgiving, we also need to be present, to stay connected with what is, as opposed to being stuck in our negative thoughts or a victimized attitude.

If we accept change as an opportunity, if we see it as a door that is opening in front of us, as opposed to a door closing behind us, there is a great chance to reinvent ourselves, to restart anew, to discover our true self.

I recently watched a video of a 78-old man who had lost his wife of 50 years, he was deeply sad but his eyes were also shining with excitement, as he had decided to carry-on with a "bucket list" that he and his wife had put together. He was determined to travel the world and do most of the things in the list that they could not do together, he was doing it in honor of the greatest love of his life. I was really touched by this man, by his vision of a new beginning, a new adventure despite his age. It is never to late to start over!

Anyway, I send you all my love and the thought that we are the architects of our own lives, no matter what we encounter during the building process, we can always decide the path to take at any given moment. We are not victims of life events, we are creators, designers and visionaries!

Have a good week!

Related Articles:

Finding True Peace

Respecting our healing process

One Day at a Time

 

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